Written at 11:33 PM Super Bowl Sunday:

I am so hurt I am literally in tears right now. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never experienced a Super Bowl loss or because I’m drunk. The 49ers just lost their first Super Bowl. My wife has gone to bed which means it’s safe for me to cry now. I haven’t felt this sad since the lost of my ornery cat. I’ve emptied my official AREA 49 mini-fridge and the pain still exists.

Colin Kaepernick will lead us to a title, as will Jim Harbaugh. I take back every mean thing I’ve ever said about Jed York. I apologize to my good friend CAG. She loves Beyonce and I mocked her profusely because I was in such a bad mood at halftime.

I am a big brother. Normally, I would never root against a big brother but this was a special situation. Congrats to John. I am pretty sure, I am the saddest man in Maryland right now.

It’s ok. The Steelers won four. Then lost a heartbreaker to Dallas before winning number five and six. We’ll be back!

No matter what…

WHO’S GOT IT BETTER THAN US…NOOOOOOOO BODY!